Before the Breaking Point

I want to live

Okay, mission accomplished.  I’m alive. I’m sitting here writing these words, inhaling air, drinking liquids, and eating food.  I have a job I love, a family I love, and friends I love, and I have hobbies I love too. 
 
Heck, it doesn’t sound like I’m living, it sounds like I’m living large!  But that’s where we get to the crux of the problem.
 
It’s hard to say if, when I was 7 years old, I would have taken the marshmallow or waited for two. It’s accurate to say now, however, that I want what I want when I want it; and that at least for the better part of my life I tend to grab the marshmallow immediately knowing another one will come along before too much longer.  The internet age has been kind to my desire for instant gratification.  Instant knowledge, instant conversations, instant everything just a click away. 
 
Ingrained in me, somehow, is a connection to food that runs deep to emotional support, killing time, entertainment, socializing, and  just plain decadence.  I love food.  All foods, fortunately, but love them I do, and to excess.  As with most things, it’s all relative, but what is excess for many has become normalized for me and I’m looking to undergo a rather intense paradigm shift in order to jog myself outside of my well fortified trenches.

Living *too* Large

At 38, I currently weigh 275 lbs.  For my particular height, 5’7″ I think I ‘carry it well’ in that it probably doesn’t look like I weight that much in excess of what I should for my height, but it certainly looks like I weight too much and perhaps ‘I carry it well’ is something that is more true in my mind than it is in reality.
 
I’m 38 now, and I have 2 children, a wife, and an intense series of emotions around the ultimate eventuality that waits for all of us (as far as I know) at the end of our mortal adventure on this earth.  On one hand, there’s a part of me that thinks along the lines of:
 
“What’s the point of trying to fight for 10 more years of life if it all ends in the same vacuum?” 
 
And there’s a part of me that will:
 
“Rage against the dying of the light” until the light no longer responds to my fight.
 
I’m fortunate, that at present at least, the part of me that is desirous of raging against the light is the larger portion of my being and I’m now driven to action by a hope to make at first a short-term unsustainable change followed by a gradual transition into a sustainable pattern of eating and behaviour that lends itself to more optimal nutrition and health.
 
When I get an interest in something, I tend to dive in over my head.  I either learn to swim, or end up being carried to the shores of possibilities by the tide to ultimately end up trying something else more suited to my interests In this case, it’s a sea of eating and social habits that I hope to change before they carry me to the shores of, hopefully, some other distant shore with lessons internalized and perspectives shifted.

Largely Just Living without Meat Products

So how to go about breaking my habits that need to be broken, and changing the habits that need to be changed I’ve tried many things over the years at various times, but I like a good drastic shift and challenge from time to time to shake things up.  In this I’ve found a way to combine wanting to challenge myself with living a healthier life.
 
The first step is to reset my system to baser levels by cutting out everything for a while.  Nearly everything.  For an induction period of several days the idea is to bore your taste buds by eating only one food daily, as much as you want Ultimately this triggers your taste-buds and mind to eventually be bored and subsequently you end up eating much less than you normally would of your single type of food By the end of such a process, you’re ready for anything other than what you’ve just been eating for 2 weeks, and are more open to change.  Your ingrained habits are now more malleable.  You are more liquid and mutable.
 
I intend to use that liquid state of being to transition to a nearly all plant based diet.  I am allowing for some elements of foods that I normally would not eat after a couple of week intervals, provided such deviations from my path are infrequent and special.  Not normalized, and not rationalized.  Enjoyed, but acknowledged as an exception to my new normal.
 
For those who know me, to be contemplating a mostly plant-based diet akin to Vegan mentality is a difficult process I’m heartened by many others who have gone through similar paths to find their brain becomes rewired ultimately due to the rewiring of their gut (second brain).
 
My target is 170lbs.  Unreasonable in my mind, but a target for which I’m shooting.  Once reached, I’ll let myself grow by expansion of muscle mass and exercise.
 
I don’t exactly know what to expect here.  I expect that some elements of the diet will be relatively easy for me.  I have a lot of fat on my frame.  My body will most certainly find itself near ketosis and burning fat for fuel as a main energy source.  I’m okay with that.
 
I know that a drastic reduction or diet shift is often touted to be unmaintainable and it may very well be.  What I do know is that I am overweight and have struggled all my life as such. For now losing the weight from my frame and shedding my fat fast as I can will benefit my health.
 
I’ll likely be continuing to share progress and thoughts as I move forward.  I’m a sharer.  I’ll try to be fair an honest with what I’m feeling.  I’ll try and document exact details where I can.
 
I need to reshape my eating paradigm.

Peace,

Shane Fera

 
TL;DR; I am 275lbs.  I have a goal of reaching 170lbs followed by a desire to then begin working out and building back my muscle mass. I plan to do this by switching to mostly a plant based diet. This scares me because I love meat.  I am relying on the idea that the gut bacteria used to eating meat are making me love it.  My hope is that my new gut bacteria are more desirous of not eating meat.

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.