I turned 40 yesterday, so today is my first full day of being 40.
There hasn't been a preponderance of change, really. Given that we live a day at a time, it really does just creep by and keep going. Thankfully.
At 40, I'm over halfway to my 'life expectancy' as a male Canadian. Optimistically, and genetically, I very well could be halfway there rather than over halfway.
When I was a teenager, I always said I would live to 100. Of course I said it because it's a nice round number, it felt extremely long, and overly optimistic. With all the advances in medicines, sciences, nutrition, well, who the hell knows. May be it's a pessimistic end goal.
Who would have thought. 24 years ago we were celebrating my Mother's 40th birthday. That's a head trip.
But what's really a head-trip is how complete I felt at 16, at 18. And how incomplete I feel now. Not an uncontented incomplete, but in the way a professional comes to know what they don't know rather than thinking they know more than they do.
I guess age brings a certain kind of experiential wisdom, but it's still a head trip.
When I was half of what I am now, I was 20. I was still with my high-school sweetheart back then. The internet was smaller back then. The next steps were smaller to. I was beholden only to myself.
I know some people argue that you are only ever beholden to yourself, but the reality is a hundred strings being pulled by a hundred hands.
So, 40. The first day was alright. Working, of course. Catching up with a few friends, sure.
Life is good. 40 is good so far.
I do not fear the coming of age, and the falling of time away from the candle that is me, it's the eventual cessation that crumbs my bum when I let it. For now though, I have a roll of quarters and I'm going to enjoy the playground while I can, and run maintenance on the rides so my kids can continue to enjoy the playground after I'm gone.